October 06, 2006

Day Deux-The Panic Room













I step off the elevator and say my good byes. Gingerly walk down the empty and mute hallway back to my room. If you've ever been on a cruise or have seen Titanic you know that every room and hallway boast identical. As I survey the area around me, a touch of panic comes over me. Am I on the right part of the ship.The boat was rocking back and forth, so much so that you couldn't keep a balance.

I'm so quick that I discover the obvious and look at the room numbers and realize I 'm on the right side of the ship. I put my room key (sea pass) in the credit card slot and enter my room. Once I 'm settled in my room, I turn on the TV, Devil Wears Prada is showing. I half heartedly crack up because Franco from Rescue Me plays a effeminate fashion designer in one part. I change into a tank top and panties.
I 'm not feeling well. The room feels small. There is not enough air. I try to clear my head. The more I try to clear my head the more my chest tightens. Where is everyone? I have no idea what anyone's room numbers are.
Maybe I will go find HHHubby.
I can't get up.
I can't breath.
I feel sick.
I am pacicking. Hyperventling.
Crying.
Trying to concentrate and put on clothes.
Crying. trying to breath, the room is spinning.
I vomit.
HHhubby comes back.
Drunk.
He saves me.
He calms me down and we walk upstairs to get fresh air.
The view is heavenly. Weather is warm. I try to take it in.
I inhale. I feel safe.
Can I walk back down the hall? I do and wonder how I am going to make it through the remaning days of this cruise.
Just breathe.

6 Comments:

Blogger Mon said...

ohhh I hope your sea sickness didn't last. That would be awful feeling 'trapped' like that.

October 06, 2006 5:51 AM  
Blogger The G Family said...

I am having the feeling like I did when I read James Frey's books...I feel panic reading this...Luckily I know how it all turns out. Uhhh, not a good feeling especially on a boat at sea....

October 06, 2006 9:24 AM  
Blogger womendiary said...

Hi becca, you have interesting blog here, ppl love to see your "momma" house :)

Thx for letting my womendiary blog rent your space, happy blogging and wait for your back link :)

October 06, 2006 11:34 AM  
Blogger Kailani said...

What's going on? Intoxicated? Sea sick? Anxiety attack? Hope you're feeling better by now. Take care!

The Pink Diary

October 06, 2006 1:24 PM  
Blogger Hothousemomma said...

Mon- I did find my sea legs
NG-His books were hard to read at some points.
Wd- thanks and your welcome
kal-No drunky, just very sea sick

October 06, 2006 1:40 PM  
Blogger hotdrwife said...

It takes a bit to get used to, that's for sure! I'm guessing by now you are better. Hang in there!

October 07, 2006 8:20 AM  

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