October 06, 2006
Day Deux-The Panic Room
I step off the elevator and say my good byes. Gingerly walk down the empty and mute hallway back to my room. If you've ever been on a cruise or have seen Titanic you know that every room and hallway boast identical. As I survey the area around me, a touch of panic comes over me. Am I on the right part of the ship.The boat was rocking back and forth, so much so that you couldn't keep a balance.
I'm so quick that I discover the obvious and look at the room numbers and realize I 'm on the right side of the ship. I put my room key (sea pass) in the credit card slot and enter my room. Once I 'm settled in my room, I turn on the TV, Devil Wears Prada is showing. I half heartedly crack up because Franco from Rescue Me plays a effeminate fashion designer in one part. I change into a tank top and panties.
I 'm not feeling well. The room feels small. There is not enough air. I try to clear my head. The more I try to clear my head the more my chest tightens. Where is everyone? I have no idea what anyone's room numbers are.
Maybe I will go find HHHubby.
I can't get up.
I can't breath.
I feel sick.
I am pacicking. Hyperventling.
Trying to concentrate and put on clothes.
Crying. trying to breath, the room is spinning.
HHhubby comes back.
He saves me.
He calms me down and we walk upstairs to get fresh air.
The view is heavenly. Weather is warm. I try to take it in.
I inhale. I feel safe.
Can I walk back down the hall? I do and wonder how I am going to make it through the remaning days of this cruise.
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