June 23, 2006
Type A or B
Most people that read here know that HHmomma is a SAHM of 2. When we purchased our home in August I decided it was time to join a moms' group. Prior to our move, I had been very anti moms group.These women are in a cult. Something about the stigma caused me to turn my nose up at the whole group thing. Since I came to senses and realized we're planted in this area, as in tied to a mortgage, I joined the local moms group striclty to meet other parents that are home during the day. Most of my friends are working moms. Which means I am left in the battlefield with my little soliders on a day to day basis. Support is essential to being a good parent.
Hence I am now a member.
I have to say I've really benefited from joining this group. HHkids have made friends. We have participated in serveral excursions, that otherwise I wouldn't have participated in on my own. A handful of these women are just like me. We all went to the same college and graduated within years of one another. I've even made a friend who I consider someone that will remain a part of my life. We have vacationed together, etc. The kids adore one another. Most imporant our husbands like each other. Not even because we say things like hey " HHhubby likes beer" "does your husband like beer?"
Of course there is usually a downside to groups like these. When you mix personalities. There are always women out there that think they are Uber mom. That there is only one way to parent. Wait let me rephrase that, they feel the need to express that they are uber mom and share their thoughts with you. From how your kids should eat to how you should discipline.
To these women ,I just turn my ear. Unless the information is helpful, and sometimes it has been. It's nothing different then highschool and you just remember why you are there. For the kids. If you make a friend along the way, then major benefit. I make choices in my day to day life, because they will make my children happy. As a parent that is all we ever want for our children. Happiniess.
This is where is started. One concerned mom sent out an email about her eobservations at the park this particualr day. In her email she described actions which she perceived as dangerouous or threatneing treatment toward a child.
In her email she described the women(a nanny), who was hispanic and also indicated what the women was wearing. She then went on to describe the child who was caucasian and what the baby was outfitted in this particular day.
Her issue was that the nanny was pushing the baby in a swing, very high and the baby was crying. The women continued to push her. There was also mention that it was a very hot day and the baby had no hat on and didn't have full control of her neck.
The women went on to push the baby in the swing.
The mom that wrote the email was clearly bothered by the situation and wasn't sure if she should have said something directly to the nanny or acted as she had and walked away.
As far as the detailed decription that given, I read it to be information so that if you were trying to indenitfy if this was your child or nanny - you would be able to.
You would have the vital information to pass along to someone else.
Her question was: What should she have done to prevent this?
Open flood gates.
Responses were unreal from blatenly rude insults about her "passive aggressive" behavior and with out saying it in so many word calling her a "racist". I typically don't read these email chains or ever respond to them. Somehow I found my self sympathazing with the women that originated the email.
We are all in this together. Being a parent is the most diffcult job you will ever have. You don't get a promotion, you don't get raises, sometimes someone will make mention that you are doing a great job. Usually you just be. So simply being a parent, you just do the best you can and look to your children to see what your day long work has help to create.
Why do mommies have to be disrespect one another?
Why as women, can we not be on the same team?
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