September 19, 2006

feeling like a shit parent

ho hum. ho hum. Here is your warning to click away. Click away and find something uplifting for your day. You won't find to much good mojo here. Not today.

I have to express some less then pleasant feelings I am having about myself.
Lately, I have been feeling as though I'm not doing my job as a mum very well. I feel like I spend a lot of my day saying "no don't do this" "don't do that." Most of the time the words are warranted. However, I feel like my bark has gotten worse. I don't like it or me when this happens.

I feel like I have been less tolerant of my toddler's defiant actions. Maybe if I am feeling this way it's because it's true. Then maybe at least I'm in touch with my feelings enough to know that I need to work on my tolerance and discipline. Or maybe I'm just a shit mom and need to feel better about it. Right no , today, I don't know which one.

Fact is maybe I need to remember that he is only three. Maybe choose my battles. Then there is a part of me that feels like he needs to learn the difference between right and wrong. Isn't this up to me?

I just feel plain sad about it all. There is a huge part of me that knows that I spend my days with my kids and our plans each day are based on fun things for my little ones. I love them to the end of this green earth.

Am I just being human? Do I need to stand back and smell the roses a little more?

For those of you out there that are parents do you ever feel this way? Specially with the challenges of a 3 year old and 1 year old?

Please say yes!


Blogger The G Family said...

I do have those days when I think, am I too hard on my girls but then I read a story in the newspaper or about an older child who has been very defiant and I think, no, although I may say no a lot, I am giving them boundaries and structure and that is what they need at this crucial time. So, you can't get down on yourself. One of the hardest parts about being a parent is having to tell them NO....but, in the end, they will turn out as respectable citizens and that means you were not a bad parent but a good one. That's my opinion.

September 18, 2006 10:18 PM  
Blogger She said...

I definately have those days. Days where I am just sick and tired of saying "no" to the same situations. I mean after saying "no don't pull the dogs hair" or "no stop pulling the video tapes out of the cabinet" you'd think the little one would catch on. I hate repeating myself over and over but that is life with a toddler. You may feel bad about being so structured but it is better to be safe than sorry. God knows I don't want to have one of those bad ass kids that you see in walmart running off from their parent and not listening.

September 19, 2006 6:40 AM  
Blogger Mon said...

I'm not a parent. But that is because I watch Supernanny, and Nanny 911. Usually, the parents dont say those things to their kids, and they end up wild banshees, that no one can stand. Kids need discipline, and they respect you for it.
I remember hating my mom sometimes for not letting me do things I thought I needed to do, but to this day I am thankful she stopped me from doing half the things she did. I was afraid to let her down, and that kept me out of a lot of trouble!

September 19, 2006 8:07 AM  
Blogger Hothousemomma said...

thanks for the kind words. I'm feeling better!

September 19, 2006 4:32 PM  
Blogger Jeri said...

Auntie's have no idea...that's why I'm an auntie but I'm pretty sure you needn't be so hard on yourself...discipline and structure seem to be the most helpful thing you can provide...and I want them to know right from wrong and hopefully early on...unfortunately you won't see the fruits of your labor (or frustration) until later on...and the fact that you are in touch with how you are feeling is always good....where would you be if you just didn't even give a Sh*T. Don't beat yourself up....!

September 19, 2006 6:53 PM  
Blogger Kailani said...

Those days seem to be a lot more frequent now that Girlie Girl is 4. She's starting to become more defiant and I'm not used to that. I feel like I'm scolding her constantly. Sometimes I wonder if I expect too much of her. I guess it's because I talk to her like she's older so I expect her to behave like she's older. I know that's not fair to her.

The Pink Diary

September 21, 2006 2:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there! I hope by now you're outta that mood :) I do not have a 3 & 1 year old but I have a 6 & 2 years old and they are equally challenging to me. I guess your kids are still young and they are in the process of discovery/fulfilling their curiosity & learning from that, so they will test your patience many times over. It's natural for us mommies to lose our cool at times. Take a break if you can and have a little me time. Good luck!

September 21, 2006 10:24 PM  
Blogger bethrat said...

no kids of my own - but plenty of the neices and nephews. I think if you didn't feel this way - that's how you know you are a bad HHMomma. Reflecting on your actions is the thing that urges growth and development. You want to be a good mom and that is what will make you a good mom. I see you with HH boy and HHgirl. You are more tender and silly than I have ever known you in the last 15 years. You are an inspiration to me for starting a family and I know you are a great MOM!

September 22, 2006 2:02 PM  

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