September 19, 2006
feeling like a shit parent
I have to express some less then pleasant feelings I am having about myself.
Lately, I have been feeling as though I'm not doing my job as a mum very well. I feel like I spend a lot of my day saying "no don't do this" "don't do that." Most of the time the words are warranted. However, I feel like my bark has gotten worse. I don't like it or me when this happens.
I feel like I have been less tolerant of my toddler's defiant actions. Maybe if I am feeling this way it's because it's true. Then maybe at least I'm in touch with my feelings enough to know that I need to work on my tolerance and discipline. Or maybe I'm just a shit mom and need to feel better about it. Right no , today, I don't know which one.
Fact is maybe I need to remember that he is only three. Maybe choose my battles. Then there is a part of me that feels like he needs to learn the difference between right and wrong. Isn't this up to me?
I just feel plain sad about it all. There is a huge part of me that knows that I spend my days with my kids and our plans each day are based on fun things for my little ones. I love them to the end of this green earth.
Am I just being human? Do I need to stand back and smell the roses a little more?
For those of you out there that are parents do you ever feel this way? Specially with the challenges of a 3 year old and 1 year old?
Please say yes!
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