September 19, 2006
feeling like a shit parent
I have to express some less then pleasant feelings I am having about myself.
Lately, I have been feeling as though I'm not doing my job as a mum very well. I feel like I spend a lot of my day saying "no don't do this" "don't do that." Most of the time the words are warranted. However, I feel like my bark has gotten worse. I don't like it or me when this happens.
I feel like I have been less tolerant of my toddler's defiant actions. Maybe if I am feeling this way it's because it's true. Then maybe at least I'm in touch with my feelings enough to know that I need to work on my tolerance and discipline. Or maybe I'm just a shit mom and need to feel better about it. Right no , today, I don't know which one.
Fact is maybe I need to remember that he is only three. Maybe choose my battles. Then there is a part of me that feels like he needs to learn the difference between right and wrong. Isn't this up to me?
I just feel plain sad about it all. There is a huge part of me that knows that I spend my days with my kids and our plans each day are based on fun things for my little ones. I love them to the end of this green earth.
Am I just being human? Do I need to stand back and smell the roses a little more?
For those of you out there that are parents do you ever feel this way? Specially with the challenges of a 3 year old and 1 year old?
Please say yes!
posted by Becca at 7:39 AM
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6 Comments:
I do have those days when I think, am I too hard on my girls but then I read a story in the newspaper or about an older child who has been very defiant and I think, no, although I may say no a lot, I am giving them boundaries and structure and that is what they need at this crucial time. So, you can't get down on yourself. One of the hardest parts about being a parent is having to tell them NO....but, in the end, they will turn out as respectable citizens and that means you were not a bad parent but a good one. That's my opinion.
I definately have those days. Days where I am just sick and tired of saying "no" to the same situations. I mean after saying "no don't pull the dogs hair" or "no stop pulling the video tapes out of the cabinet" you'd think the little one would catch on. I hate repeating myself over and over but that is life with a toddler. You may feel bad about being so structured but it is better to be safe than sorry. God knows I don't want to have one of those bad ass kids that you see in walmart running off from their parent and not listening.
I'm not a parent. But that is because I watch Supernanny, and Nanny 911. Usually, the parents dont say those things to their kids, and they end up wild banshees, that no one can stand. Kids need discipline, and they respect you for it.
I remember hating my mom sometimes for not letting me do things I thought I needed to do, but to this day I am thankful she stopped me from doing half the things she did. I was afraid to let her down, and that kept me out of a lot of trouble!
thanks for the kind words. I'm feeling better!
Auntie's have no idea...that's why I'm an auntie but I'm pretty sure you needn't be so hard on yourself...discipline and structure seem to be the most helpful thing you can provide...and I agree....you want them to know right from wrong and hopefully early on...unfortunately you won't see the fruits of your labor (or frustration) until later on...and the fact that you are in touch with how you are feeling is always good....where would you be if you just didn't even give a Sh*T. Don't beat yourself up....!
Hi there! I hope by now you're outta that mood :) I do not have a 3 & 1 year old but I have a 6 & 2 years old and they are equally challenging to me. I guess your kids are still young and they are in the process of discovery/fulfilling their curiosity & learning from that, so they will test your patience many times over. It's natural for us mommies to lose our cool at times. Take a break if you can and have a little me time. Good luck!
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