August 07, 2006

stripper poles, die-ra and mamms

**My old college bud is getting married in October. I was thinking about sending this to her as a wedding gift. The advertisement says that Oprah has this. Is the fact that Oprah owns this a selling point? I can seeing using Oprah as a nice PR move for books. I don't know about a selling point for stripper poles. So as I was contemplating sending this off to her it made me think. Maybe this is a gift for her hubby. Not for her. Don't get me wrong I am sure he will love the matching crystal, china and candlesticks. Just about as much as he would love socks for Christmas. This gift really could be two fold. The bride and her friends would have endless hours of fun trying to do sexy stripper moves and landing on their respective heads. Did anyone see the episode of Kings and Queens? Where Kevin trys to show Keri how to strip? F*cking funny. Anyway I think he will like the gift.

**Made it through the weekend of die-ra. Although one day between me trying to ease down HHboys pants, carefully, very carefully, so as not to disturb the puddle of loveliness planted in his pull up (because there is no way he was going to wear underwear until die-ra was cleared up) and finding myself coated like a pig in his die-ra. Trying not to throw up. Throwing up. Putting HHboy directly in the bath. HHgirl in all her pureness crawling in the bathroom, trying to crawl right through the floor decor. Smiling and then crying because I locked her out of the bathroom. HHgirl pounding incestuously on the door. Me throwing up in the sink from the smell. HHBoy crying because I am throwing up from the smell. Me throwing away and burning his clothes in a bon fire in the toilet. HHBoy traumatized that I am throwing up from his die-ra. All the while I try to convince him it's okay, that really it's not the die-ra. (whilst throwing up in the sink)
Wow, I made it and I live to tell. Upside-maybe I lost a few pounds. This is one of the glamorous parts of motherhood that makes one feel oh so sexy.

**We had dinner at our neighbors. She cooked Thai food. Thai food can be very spicy. She suggested that I try some hot sauce and promptly put the sauce on my plate. I did not dip my egg roll directly in the sauce-my egg roll brushed up against the sauce on my plate. My mouth burned like I ate 40 hobanero peppers. Water didn't help. Ripping my lips and tongue out of my head did not help.
Do not let egg roll touch sauce in the future. My butt is okay.

**Trying to have a discussion about the every growing list of things I would like to do over the weekend. ( bed bath and beyond, if we have time) All HHHubby can say to me is "why don't you take off your shirt?" Am I just a walking billboard of boobs? Don't answer that.

**We purchased a new camera. I hope to take some great shots like this person or this person. Talk to us after a few photography classes. Okay after a lot of classes. I am ambitious about the photography.

**I read a chapter from this book. Did anyone read this and feel like they were reading a book written by a 5th grader?

Weekend was good! How was yours?


Blogger Jeri said...

okay, I am an insensitive lout but I laughed hysterically at HHM and HHB's pain and discomfort. well, certainly "leonard" is a stream of consciousness thing and we must remember the author has the emotional growth of say a 5th grader...still, I enjoyed it.

August 06, 2006 8:35 PM  
Blogger hibelu said...

J'aime manger la nourriture thaïlandais épicée!


August 07, 2006 6:57 AM  
Blogger Mon said...

Did you read a million little peices by James Frey? A couple people I know didn't like it cus of the writing, I'm assuming it's the same. Memoirs written by the author are generally not fantastic my opinion. It's the story that gets ya. I liked peices though, It was like one big long thought.

August 07, 2006 7:08 AM  
Blogger Rich & Elaine said...

Wow, an eventful weekend! Although I am not laughing about HHboy because my Hubby was going through the same think only out the other end. Poor guy. Okay maybe I giggled a little in the other room (about Hubby not HHboy). Why are men so loud when they toss their cookies?

August 07, 2006 9:18 AM  
Blogger Dana said...

Oh my. The Die-ra post was funny. I must have missed that when I was sick and not blogging. Oh wait. I'm still sick. Damn pneumonia.

August 07, 2006 10:37 AM  
Blogger MysteriousLady said...

I think the stripping pole is one unique idea for a wedding present. I think they'd enjoy way more then china and the normal wedding gifts.

I haven't read that book yet. I love reading though. So I'm sure, I'll get there.

Here visiting for C & C Monday!

August 07, 2006 12:21 PM  
Blogger Hothousemomma said...

The whole die-ra this is very funny.
I'm enjoying the book so far, but just havent read a memoir written like this. Still need to read the first part (million pieces)

August 07, 2006 1:48 PM  

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